More and more couples are choosing to be in alternative partnerships than marriage, while many individuals choose to value independence over being tied with someone. Those in marriages are also likely to choose having a family later in life than the generation before them. Whatever may be the reason, reproduction is being put off for a later time. Does that align with your biological clock?
We can all agree that bringing up a child when you are mentally, physically and financially stable is better than any of those factors missing. If you are at a place in life where you and your partner feel comfortable to start your own family then half your battle is won. While you may have been told to have a baby sooner rather than later, the good news is that there are more options at your disposal to start a family.
Not just a woman’s job
Bringing a life into being is a two person job. Just as a woman needs to be conscious of her nutrition and lifestyle choices, the male partner is equally responsible in ensuring their health is at an optimum level to provide healthy sperm. Hereditary disorders, structural problems in tubes carrying sperms, varicoceles can affect sperm counts but many lifestyle choices impact the quality of sperms. These can range from obesity to drug usage, excessive use of alcohol, drugs to use of steroids. Maintaining a healthy BMI is key to the equation. Aspiring fathers are encouraged to maintain stress and take up regular exercise to improve sperm quality. Adding leafy vegetables and legumes to the diet and reducing intake of trans fats are helpful.
The hard truth
Women are born with a finite set of eggs that continue to deplete with every menstruation cycle. Your best chance of conceiving is in your 20s, things do get trickier with age and hormonal issues. If you suffer from hormonal conditions like PCOD, PCOS, thyroid imbalance, consulting with a physician before trying is recommended. Those suffering from PCOS are three times more likely to miscarry. However, it is important to note that PCOS is manageable, thanks to advancements in hormonal science, tracking nutrition, ovulation, managing stress, and following medical guidance throughout the pregnancy journey. Maintaining a clean lifestyle and a healthy body weight are crucial to conceiving. Whichever route you choose towards parenthood, getting yourself in a good space physically is key.
Detox your body
Lifestyle plays a huge role in fertility. This bit is not just for the woman carrying the baby but for both partners before trying for a baby. Smoking is a big no-no. Therefore if you plan to have a baby, quit smoking at least 3 months before you start to conceive. Studies indicate that parents who are heavy smokers increase a child’s risk of leukaemia. Cannabis stays in your system for a good 13 days. If you enjoy that late night joint, bid adieu at least 2 weeks before trying. THC can adversely affect the neurodevelopment of a foetus. You might want to reduce the caffeine consumption as well. As for drinking? Stop that before you try. While you may be motivated to get in shape and shed a few pounds, be wary of how much you lift. Not all forms of workouts are conducive to conceiving and it's best to consult a GP on the dos and don’ts. Feel like an extra on Succession? Stop working late into the night.
Tests
You can choose to get AMH and FSH tests to get an initial assessment of fertility potential. The AMH test provides an estimate of a woman's remaining egg supply, while the FSH test measures the levels of follicle-stimulating hormone, which can indicate the ovarian response to hormonal signals. These tests can provide useful information about ovarian reserve and potential fertility, but it's important to keep in mind that they are just one piece of the puzzle. A comprehensive evaluation of fertility typically involves considering other factors such as medical history, menstrual cycle regularity, and additional tests if needed. You may need to get Basal Body Temperature (BBT) Charting and Transvaginal Ultrasound.
For men, Semen Analysis is recommended as this test evaluates sperm count, motility, morphology, and other parameters to assess sperm quality and quantity. Hormone Testing (blood tests) measure testosterone, LH, FSH, and other hormone levels to identify any hormonal imbalances affecting fertility. It is also recommended to get genetic testing to identify any inherited conditions or chromosomal abnormalities that can impact male fertility. Some cases might need testicular ultrasound and post-ejaculation urinalysis.
Freeze your eggs
If the time to have a child isn’t now but you definitely see kids in your future, freezing your eggs is a viable option. With age, chromosomal abnormalities can rise in pregnancies as can the risk of miscarriage. Many women who haven’t found a partner yet may choose to freeze their eggs in order to have a child at a mature stage in their life. If you are diagnosed with an illness that could reduce the quality of your eggs, freezing them before the course of the treatment may be an option for you. The process is comparable to the first two rounds of IVF. Ovaries are stimulated with hormone injections, mature eggs are then retrieved and frozen. Bloating is very common. Egg freezing can be expensive, however it is relatively cheaper in India.
Ayurvedic Approach
The internet has witnessed a growing trend of individuals turning to Ayurveda as an alternative approach to address infertility issues, including women in their late 30s who have faced challenges with conventional methods like IVF. In some cases a joint approach of Modern science and Ayurveda is done where Ayurveda can help with better success of IUI/IVF. While there are no guarantees in any treatment method, Ayurvedic doctors focus on nourishing and balancing the mind, body, and hormones to enhance fertility. They advocate for a nourishing diet that eliminates processed foods, refined sugars, and unhealthy fats while incorporating nutritious options like ethically sourced A2 ghee, dairy, nuts, seeds, avocados, plant-based protein, greens, and fruits. Red meat and alcohol are generally discouraged, with an emphasis on maintaining a balanced weight as a key factor. Ayurvedic doctors may provide an individualized list of red vegetables, such as tomatoes, to avoid based on specific needs. Panchakarma treatments, aimed at detoxification and restoring balance, may be recommended for better quality of ovum and sperm. Regular morning self-massage using warm oils is often advised to improve circulation, reduce stress, and harmonize the body's energy. Additionally, specific herbs like shatavari, ashwagandha, and Lodhra may be prescribed as part of the treatment plan, but not just single herbs, there are many formulations based on the cause of infertility. It is crucial to consult with an experienced Ayurvedic doctor who can tailor the recommendations to suit individual requirements and provide continuous support throughout the fertility journey.
Surrogacy
As medical science and human ideals evolve, surrogacy is becoming an increasingly appealing choice. If the couple fits the requirements of the law (Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) Regulation Act 2021), heterosexual couples can avail of commercial surrogacy through proper legal channels. The surrogate carries the embryo of the intended couple. Gestational surrogacy is legal in India. Some studies suggest separation from the birth mother can cause the infant trauma. The surrogate can suffer from post natal depression therefore counselling is an important aspect of the arrangement. Intended parents often accompany the surrogate at the delivery to be a part of the child’s journey from the very beginning. Some surrogates find the experience an enriching one in their life. Skin to skin bonding is highly crucial for mothers that go through surrogacy.
Heal your childhood traumas
Self-criticism and guilt are common in those who have unhealed childhood traumas. Aspiring parents can take up couples counselling or private counselling to be in a better mindspace before trying. Those exposed to adverse childhood experiences have trouble establishing healthy relationships as adults. To avoid these from passing on to your child, self-awareness is the key. Work through your challenges with a professional to heal yourself.
Is adoption for you?
Adoption in India is a lengthy process and requires much patience. For whatever reasons you and your partner intend to choose this route, the first step is to register yourself at the Child Adoption Resource Information and Guidance System to go through the proper channels. Single male parents are not eligible for adoption. In case of married couples, only those who have been in a stable marriage for over two years are eligible. If you fit the listed criteria, you can submit the necessary paperwork to apply for adoption of a child through Specialised Adoption Agencies recognised by State Governments. It can take up to three years to adopt a child and parents have to undergo a series of paperwork and technicalities that can be emotionally draining. Adoption however places the adoptee in a stable environment that improves their emotional, mental and behavioural health. The positive impacts of bringing home a child left in adoption outweigh any negatives.
What you need to know about fertility?
The best laid plans can go awry. Couples that face challenges with conceiving for various reasons ranging from collapsed fallopian tubes to sperm impairments often try fertility clinics for in vitro fertilisation (IVF). Heavy on the pocket, these complex series of procedures where the eggs retrieved from the body are fertilised outside the body in a controlled laboratory environment. The fertilised egg, which is then termed as an embryo is then placed inside the uterus. If it attaches to the uterine wall it is considered a pregnancy. It is recommended to not go above three rounds of IVF. Success rates of IVF in India range between 55%-80% depending on various factors. Each IVF cycle takes 6-8 weeks depending on the patient’s response to the treatment.
Intrauterine insemination is another form of a fertility treatment where high quality sperm is chosen from a given sample and placed inside the uterus during ovulation. IUI has a lesser success rate than IVF. There are other kinds of fertility treatments one can discuss with their healthcare provider. The pressure to conceive adds pressure on a relationship–it is critical to look after one’s mental health during this time.